Friends, Aquaintences Hearts and faces

When I look at the many pictures I have from my time in Utah I sometimes get teary eyed sometimes laugh sometimes get sad but it never fails that I smile
I met some awesome people their and it was a hard experience to get close to people and then all of a sudden be thousands of miles apart with no chance of ever seeing each other. This experience has taught me that in life the people we meet change us. some just slightly but others can change your paradigm on things. The above pictures are just a few who did that they also happen to be people I will never forget no matter how long time passes.

First I'll start with Joel(guy with the hat thats not me) This guy is so funny he had some crazy funny stories and had a i dont give a f*ck persoality and it only made him that much more awesome.. haha.. what I take from him was life is a bi....scratch that.. i mean.. to take the most out of life and have fun and to quote joel f*ck it... haha..

Then theres oksana.. Russian flirty chick nuff said.. hahaha.. just kidding.. she became like a little sister and I learned that girls can be dumb at times and not learn their lessons the first time and usually dont take advice.. haha
And Laura the girl in the bottom right.. She has an awesome personality she helped me learn to reach out and sometimes the best thing we can do is listen she taught me that listening can be better than any advice

Jay(jabez) and trevor.. the inseparables .. when Jay left trevor was lost.. haha.. they were some interesting characters Trevors since of humor and jays string dance.

2 of some crazy awesome girls are Brady and Jessica.. first of all I love both of their faces and I can honestly say that Brady is the coolest most awesome not judging accepting atheist i have ever met and as for jessica.. she was a ball of fun who can come off aggressive and needy but is a good person overall

THen theres Trude(Trudy) Orton (the girl in the red and in the bottom left pic) this girl is pretty awesome herself.. I miss our breakfast time and really liked how she would sit with me when I went to dinner alone I miss her and her free hugs shirt haha..

And last but not least theirs Jessie.(the one in the bottom left, bottom right,top middle, and top left) this guy .. remember how I said that some people have a big impact and can change the way you think... well he was mine.. He got me into running and would push me to push myself and bring the leadership out of me.. this guy has went through alot and he still mangages to come through even stronger .. it seems that my struggles are so minor compared to the stuff he deals with but I beleive that those who go through alot were made stronger by God to handle it .. just as Gold is refined by fire... I really appreciate Jessie because he reached out and befriended me and introduced me to practically all of the other people I can honestly say that I dont think I would have lasted without his friendship. and as you can see we were around each other all the time and his face is a majority of my pictures ..no Homo lol

The reason I wanted to post this is because it helps me remember how much I love each of them and that God makes everyone unique and I was lucky to meet them

there are some people that arent pictured like Rachael this awesome funny chick who would helped me open up and be more comfortable with myself and body .. haha.. I miss her but we are supposed to hang out soon so yea lol there are others too like marlon,jocelyn, nick , dorian, consuelo, cooley,oleg, and so many others but you guys probably forgot about me .. lol

New View

So I haven't written on here in a while and I have been wanting to get some of my thoughts down. I also have a new thought of how I should do this blog. I usually use it for venting and complaining to what ever random soul that happens upon my page but also for myself because I have went back and read and remembered what I was going through and how I overcame or am still enduring. So this is my new start and if you choose to be nosy and look at my previous ones but thats up to you


Who am I

I find it hard to define myself.. maybe from fear of the truth or just really not knowing. Lately I have been remembering some repressed memories of my past. I had a reason to hide all those memories away because I was ashamed but there are constant reminders almost everyday but I just stuff them back in and shake it off and look forward like I have grown accustomed to. I wouldn't say I was smart but that also depends on what you are talking about.. Am I generally smart well I think so but for things that could have been forgotten and things I never learned yeah I can stand back and feel dumb while people ask how I dont know about certain things but obviously if I wanted to learn it I would try.. but there are still those people who are/think that they know a lot and are surprised when someone doesnt know something they do.. anyways.. I also have a sort of ADD .. maybe even ADHD .. its not really that i lose focus its that I am trying to multi task.. for instance at church I have had 2 people talk to me at the same time asking about something and instead of noticing that im already being talked to they keep talking and when it comes time for me to respond im like looking back and forth trying to choose who to reply to without having the other feel like i wasnt listening..but the thing is .. its hard being me.. because for some reason I set out to please people either by putting on a show or feeding their ego.. but i dont know maybe thats just how God made me.. the one people look up to.. how Ironic.. .. so this did become a bit of a rant and had no purpose but I feel a little better and want to write a seperate blog for something i have been thinking about..