My Immortal

I was texting my Ex and she said that a song came on and it reminded her of me.. this isnt uncommon because the same thing happens to me ..

On January 30 2007 I got into a relationship with Julia Jones.. We first met at church I was shy and she was crushing on me.. I wasnt really looking for a relationship at the time but her brother mentioned that me and her should get together because she really really liked me ..we had just came back from a youth trip and I thought she was a cool girl.. so while Julia were talking on the phone I finally asked her out.. it was a funny experience.. seeing as it had been a while since I had done any dating.. So needless to say we made shockwaves throught the church as news hit we were a couple.. me and her just laughed about it.. as time went on we began to hit the milestones.. first date, first kiss, first argument, ... See when i looked at Julia I seen a beautiful Girl who had a special voice and laugh and who loved to sing..aggressive personality.... but other people had their opinions of her..I began to feel ashamed to be with her.. the peoples talking became overwhelming and I broke... broke up with her actually .. I gave her the escuse that I wanted to get closer to God.. but in reality I let my ego and what people thought get the best of me. I didnt want to admit that I cared for her.. .. after we broke up things went south for her.. deaths..homelessness... other horrible things.. and I had the feeling but just kept being stubborn.. then the inevitable happened.. she found someone else.. and at first I was happy until I met him.. he was a alright guy but he dragged her into things i didnt like.. she became a different person.. we still kept contact and the feeling were there for both of us but she was moving on.. fastforward and Shes Happily married with a adorable baby boy.. and im still single lol..

So where im going with this is.. I honestly believe that we were meant to be together I always deny it but when people ask if I even loved Julia I lie and say no but then it sends me through a thought frenzy of how untrue it is.. I think what happened was I broke up a relationship God had put together because she loved me with everything she had but I didnt know what that was at the time.. so God took her broken heart and mended it with her family.. but you cant really get rid of True loves feelings.. Oh the thoughts of the ones that read this.. especially if it is the ones i vehemently denied my feelings to....

So to wrap this vent fest up I Do love Julia and I love that she got her life together She has a beautiful family and when I get mad or annoyed of how her husband treats her he was the one to pick her up.. So I have to stand back and let what could have been go .. I question if we can still be friends because the conversation inevitably turns into how we miss each other and memories of what was come up and stir up those emotions ,...

but I know she made the right decision and I wish the best for her