By your side

A while back I went through this phase known to me as "the dark time" where I could care less about what people though and was on a mission to get back at the people that hurt me.. I made friend that told me "not forgiving a person is like drinking poison .. Your only hurting yourself at first I shrugged it off but it started to wear on me and everywhere I turned there was something with the theme of forgiveness .. Flash foward to the healed wound .. I have finally come to rest.. They hurt me.. Who knows the real motive but I'm leaving it to God .. But now I feel as if I have been outcasted.. I am ignored unless in a situation where I need to be aknowledged.. There are actually only 3 people doing this.. They are all leaders and I know for a fact that one has vowed "well I'm not going to talk to him anymore". No matter how much I try to ignore it I always see them doing there leader responabilities ..two of them teach and one sings and the have important roles in the church.. So this is what gets to me.. They teach and preach forgivness but are willing to ignore and exclude a person.. I don't know ..but with this situation I think back to my "dark place" and how I had the view of ..what if it's not me what If I'm not the one doing wrong..but of course they aren't subject to that consideration .. And now with my view of my pastor being blinded and unwilling to see the signs which are running our church into the ground.. I see all of this and sigh because we are supposed to be the example the city on the hill but we can't even work as one body like the bible says.. God your will be done .. Only you know what Is best and your ways are perfect and your plans for us are unknown but I call for conviction and revival.. Amen. ..